Sunday, July 28, 2013

Jason's Bachelor Party Weekend

This weekend was Jason's Bachelor Party.  His Best Man Jim had done a ton of work in preparation to really show him a good time and everything seemed to go smoothly.  When I say "smoothly" I mean a lot of throwing up on a fishing trip in huge waves,  24 oz Red Bulls at 4:30 in the morning, a pirate kidnapping, and yet another bachelor party injury requiring a sling.  Yep, that sounds pretty normal to me for a bachelor party.  Click the title to read on....

This weekend was Jason’s Bachelor Party weekend on the coast of Oregon.  Jason’s Best Man Jim had put together quite the surprise weekend for Jason.  I ended up driving down to Corvallis on Thursday night to stay with Scott and Danielle.  I stopped for an hour at the Favorite Mistake Bar just south of Albany to see Adam (Mahogany Driftwood) play guitar and to catch up with Sarah.  They both said they loved our wedding and I hope to hang out with them again soon.

Jason’s weekend started off with Scott and I running into his bedroom at 4:40am to wake him up for a surprise fishing trip out of Newport.  I flicked the light switch in his room asking if it was the bathroom frantically (much like a did drunk one night when I was his roommate).  A bit groggy, Jason joined us in the kitchen with a bag Jen had prepared for him.  Drew and his wife Brandi (Jason’s sister) stumbled out of their room as well.  Jenn had also made us some strong cappuccino’s which were greatly appreciated at that hour.  Lee showed up right on time and we all piled into my truck to head out towards Jim’s house to meet him.  We split people up into cars and Jim’s Vannagan and continued to Newport where we arrived just in time to check in for our charter.

Unfortunately, our single bachelor party boat was not going to cut it
on the very rough seas so we all were transferred to a bigger charter with others on board with us.  This seemed pretty shitty to us at first but later proved to be awesome as the rough seas caused a fair bit of sickness with some...  We left the docks around 7am to a beautiful sunrise over the Newport Bay Bridge, headed out to drop our 3 crab pots and do some rockfishin’.  

I had given Jason a 24oz RedBull which may have been the cause of him being the first to lose his cookies over the rail as we started our fishing trip.  Scott and I began putting down the beers early, a bit too early for Jim and the others who held off.  Thankfully, I had enough leftovers from our wedding to keep us happy on the trip without running out.    It was a slow start to catching the fish but eventually we began to haul in some decent sized Lingcod and doubled up a few times on some rockfish keepers.  Drew seemed to have done the best amongst us but still paled in comparison to another guy on the boat who seemed to be a pro fisherman with how many he caught.  

It was just about the time that I had started filming Jason’s expert one-handed fishing technique that I heard Lee blow a gasket over the rail.  He had apparently manned up to that point but couldn’t bare it any longer and let go.  That began Lee’s miserable sea adventure with us.  He then retreated into the cabin of the boat which probably was the worst thing he could have done (better to look at the horizon while puking).  Lee spent the next 3 hours hovering near the rail puking or huddled in the fetal position on a boat seat somewhere.   The waves really were pretty big which was why they had shut down the offshore fishing for the day preventing us from going for salmon as well.  

Jim and I had a good laugh at Lee’s expense, but karma would catch up with Jim later in the weekend.... When our time had run out we had caught over 20 rockfish and lingcod between the 6 of us and caught about 6-8 crabs in the pots we had thrown.  When we finally reached the dock again Lee bounded off the boat and up to the alleyway to stretch out on the ground and recover.  He nearly became a tourist attraction there as everyone got a kick out of how messed up he was.  He looked like such a bum that the Charter asked him to go sleep in front of their competitor instead...  While Lee was sleeping and our fish and crab were being prepared I headed off down the road to get a bay shrimp cocktail to satiate my seafood craving!

Once we had packed up all our fresh seafood we headed down the road for a yummy lunch of chowder at Gino’s Fish Market.  Jim got a kick out of all of us ordering root beer instead of real beer, but he wasn’t the one who had been drinking straight since 6am... From there we headed over to the Rogue Spirits building for a fine drink and quick tour of their distilling process to finish off the afternoon.  It was convenient as the informative tour was given in the same building and all we had to do was swivel our barstools.  

When we got back to Corvallis we all had a bbq in Jason’s backyard with the ladies as well.  A lot more people showed up including Jason’s best friend from high school Ben who couldn’t make Jason’s wedding but came for the weekend to celebrate the ending of his freedom... ha!  Jim was on the grill and Ben had brought some yummy midwest beers along for all of us to try.  Before Scott, Emily and I took off for their place because we were exhausted from the long day we had a huddle up of all the guys to discuss the abduction plans for the following day.  I don’t think Jason knew what was about to hit him this weekend!

On Saturday Scott and I were able to sleep in a bit and grab some breakfast at the Delicias Valley Cafe before catching up with Jason and the other guys at the Afton Farms craft beer festival.  To my surprise Layne was also there serving the beer.  I had never been out to Afton Farms before but I knew Corvallis and Block 15 always threw good craft beer festivals and I wasn’t disappointed.  They had plenty of room for people to lay down blankets in the sun around the pear and apple trees and had set up a bunch of corn hole games in the grass with a live band playing on a stage nearby.  They also had a very yummy looking BBQ set up but it was a bit pricey and they limited you on meat unlike last year where I heard you could take as much as you wanted and they ran out!  Scott and I were still full so just bought 3 drink tickets and stuck to the beer.  

At around 3:30, as Jim had instructed, Scott, Ben, Lee and I made our way out to the cars and put on our pirate outfits.  We then stormed back into the festival screaming and yelling about how we were looking for a bachelor and were planning on taking him and torturing him.  Complete with swords, a hood and a rope we captured the bewildered Killian and led him out of the festival scaring little children along the way.  From there it was a very funny ride out to the coast, complete with a handcuffed pee break and donuts in a parking lot to confuse him about direction.  

When we got to Driftwood Beach State Park we pulled Jason out of the car and I led him down to the beach, not on the trail, but properly through the shrubbery as a prisoner should be led.  Once on the beach we left the hood on him and told him to sit in the sand for 5 minutes and then he was to take the hood off and walk south along the beach proclaiming his love for Jenn the entire way to anyone he may come across.  We got some great photos of him sitting on the beach with his black hood blowing like a wind sock... just looked so sad and defeated...  

Lee then followed him with one of my cameras down the beach to where he met up with the rest of his bachelor party at a fire pit and wind block set up on the beach.  He was stoked to see everyone who was able to show up and we all headed up to Jonathan Hoy’s beach house just up the hill.  Jim had rented a port-o-potty expecting more people to show up which was also helpful on Hoy’s plumbing.  At one point Jason made the grave mistake of venturing into it within site of the rest of us who beat it with poles.

Scott had brought his washer boards and we taught the rest of the guys there how to play our favorite party game.  They then became the base of a jousting setup that the CMRU guys had created.  When I tried my drunk hand at dueling Jason he slapped my beer all over me and I quickly fell off.  One handed Jason vs. drunk Jon... Jason won.  Jim cracked open a bushel of fresh oysters and warned everyone that it was an off month for eating them raw.  I promptly ignored this warning and started to go at them with a shucker and hammer.  5-6 raw oysters later I was pretty happy.  The rest of the guys chose to grill them and wait for them to be cooked... bah!  We then feasted on crab and fish that we had caught the day before and I think we all ended up pretty full.  There was a great keg of beer that scott had brought that kept our thirst quenched as well.  

Later in the evening the very drunk party of men moved down to a fire on the beach where hard liquor was passed around until several were near passing out and two were ready to wrestle.  As I busied myself blowing up, by mouth, a gigantic inflatable mattress I had dragged down to the beach people got drunker and drunker.  Some of us wandered down to the waters edge to take a break from the booze but Jim stuck around to put in some work on the bottles. 

Then the wrestling began.... I’m not sure how it started but a 50 year old Jim decided he could take on a 28 year old Lee... much to Jim’s misfortune.  In the blowing sand on the beach I sacrificed the internals of our DSLR to capture some pretty awesome pics of a young man beating up on an old man (although Jim looks 35 and is stronger than I).  Lee with years of wrestling under his belt pretty much owned Jim who wasn’t taught properly how to tap out of an arm bar hold.  This unfortunately led to Jim tapping out on the sand instead of on his attacker which therefore led to some torn shoulder muscles.  The night ended with half of us (some “Scott” irish exited to their cars and house above) sleeping on the beach in sleeping bags.  We all fell asleep to the moans of broken Jim.

In the morning we all dragged ourselves off the beach and to Salty Dawgs Restaurant in Waldport for some breakfast.  Jim was in a sling and looked like the mirror image of Jason and we had lost one of the crew somewhere on the beach the night before.  After CMRU mounted a phone and text rescue he was found and we finally got some breakfast (after a long wait).  

From there it was back to the house to clean up and head back to Corvallis.  I think Jason ended up having a pretty sweet bachelor party on the beach and I certainly ended up enjoying the company and amazing seafood.  Thanks to Jim for organizing and Hoy for hosting the event.  Just like my bachelor party someone got lost late at night and the weekend ended with someone in a sling.  Could it be that Jason and I were once roommates......?

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